Friday, March 7, 2014

There's something in the Mud

When you think of mud, what comes to mind?...memories? 

Do you remember the last time you played in it? Ever made a mudpie? Had a mud mask?

I remember a day when I was a kid- maybe it was 2nd grade- my mom dressed me up in one of those frilly dresses with the itchy-scratchy lace, and all I could think of was to just rip it off and pull on some stinkin' leggings and a t-shirt. The entire school day I felt so constricted and awkward. 

When school was finally out, it had started to drizzle. As I walked home the rain picked up a bit, just enough to get a decent splash under my feet. Then it really started coming down(Make note, we're talking San Diego rain). 

As I walked, I took notice of the brownish, filthy water that was now tainting the pure whiteness of my shoes. Just the sight of it gave me such delight,
even knowing my mom was surely going to rip me a new one for getting dirty.

Out of a pure act of defiance I said, "oh, what the heck." Every step I took thereafter was a deliberate intent upon getting as dirty as possible. All over my white shoes it splashed. All over my tights were brown spots. The edges of my once-clean dress were splattered with muddy water. 

Only then did I feel like twirling, did I feel free, in this same dress that had me feeling constricted only moments before.

The crazy thing is that back then I wanted to get dirty, heck I could of been covered in dirt and mud from head to toe and I'd be as happy as can be. 

Now though, through life, I've accumulated this symbolic dirt and mud all over me that I can't get rid of. Splashes of unworthiness. Spots of shame. Splatters of fear. The experiences I had growing up were far from white picket fences and family game nights. I think it's pretty safe to say that that's likely the case for most of us. Are you carrying some of that dirt and mud around like I am?

A few days ago, a good friend of mine asked me to picture a vision of what my journey of healing might look like. I told her that I pictured myself at the base of a mountain of mud, dark. Mud because it's slippery, hard to climb, covers you and dries hard, not very easy to get off. However, at the top of the mountain was God- waiting for me with open arms, blue skies and sunshine. 

Then, a couple of days ago I came across a devotional that talked about John 9 where Jesus heals a man born blind. In verses 6-7 it describes Jesus approaching this man, spitting on the ground to make mud with his saliva, and puts it on the man's eyes. Then Jesus instructs him to go to the Pool of Siloam to wash. So he does and returns with his sight.

In reading it so many things clicked for me. One was the mud of course. Then there was the fact that Jesus could have easily given the man his sight by his word alone, and yet he placed mud, filth off the ground, upon his eyes for him to physically have to go and wash himself in order to receive his sight.

I took from that a realization that Jesus heals WITH us, not FOR us(none of that wave-of-the-wand magician-y instant healing). We have to make the choice that we want healing for ourselves and then take action upon what he tells us to do in order to receive it.

Had the man born blind decided to just kick back and not go to the Pool to wash he still would have been blind. He trusted Jesus, he did what he said, and he was healed.

Do we trust Jesus like this man that he will heal us, truly? I know it intellectually, but I don't know if I truly believed it. Though, as I've taken the mud to my eyes, in a manner of speaking, and received His instruction, I've become more aware that he has been preparing a path for me to walk(my way to the Pool)that I was only meant to begin in His divine timing(patience is a toughie for me). 

Now check this out. Just before Jesus approaches the blind man, in verses 1-2, his disciples question why the man was born blind. Whether it was because he or his parents had sinned. This was Jesus' response:

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:3

If I can be a display, a glimmer of light, of God's work, the hope of Jesus, of proof that he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds(Psalm 147:3), that all things(even the crappiest experiences we've been through) can be turned into something good(Romans 8:28), THAT would be my greatest joy!  

I thank God he has placed people in my life to encourage and support me to be faithful to this course I've been led to. It will be tough but to know that we are not alone(Deuteronomy 31:6), that he only wishes to prosper us(Jeremiah 29:11), and gives us his strength and power(2 Timothy 1:7)to overcome it all and come to heal for His Glory is more than worth it. 

Now it is time for me to do my part, to walk to the Pool and wash the mud off, so that when the time comes I can be of encouragement to someone else. 

Mud can be dirty, thick, and rough. If you feel like I do, with layers of mud representing our pain, our hurts, ask for His instruction. Your path, I'm sure, is already in the making.

Peace be with you all.

xxoo Amanda


  1. Just read this. Thank you. Thist is what i needed to hear tonight. Keep them coming.


    1. Thank you Ainsley, that's so encouraging and I'm so glad it spoke to you.